So, I promised myself one thing when I moved back with my parents and started school again - don't procrastinate! Guess what I'm doing, I'm procrastinating. I must say though, to my own defense, it's not AS bad as before. But I could still improve on many points.
I'm still not fully done with my essay that is due tomorrow, and in math I am way behind. I really need to work on that one. The problem is games are getting in the way, and even more ironic, homework is getting in the way. It's not that the other homework is getting in the way because it's much to do, it's more that they get in the way, in the same kind of way, as the games. I really enjoy my programming homework, they are challenging and they are fun. So instead of sitting with down with math which is due in 2 days, I sit down with the programming which isn't due until next week.
For those of you who knows me way back, this would never had happened before, so in one point of view, I have improved. But I still need to learn to prioritize better. Also, I do start pretty late in the day. Mom is part of it, but I could always lock myself up in my room and just start with homework. Instead I seem to enjoy games until mom (who has all the time in the world) feel like having breakfast, and I've got some kind of ritual to not begin with homework before breakfast. Another thing, why do I wait to eat breakfast because of her? I always get annoyed and irritated, and get outbursts that she never can do stuff on her own, or choose her own breakfast, or whatever, when I do the same thing in the morning basically.
Sadly, I can't count on support from her or dad when it comes to anything. I've been asking her not to give me candy, or ask if I want when she takes it - she always asks. I've asked her not to have candy standing on the table and in the kitchen or anywhere near me - she "hides" the candy in my room! And everyone who knows me, KNOWS I don't have the self discipline to say no or not takes "just one" cookie or whatever might be out right in front of me. At the same time, what can I expect? She wait with dishes until the morning 2 days after dinner, she never put away food until it's too late basically (and honestly I think she does that part intentionally to have a reason to give it to the animals, instead of saving money on lunches), she always wait to last minute to fix kitchen before dad comes home, and if he don't call in time, she gets mad at him for not calling in time so she can "hide" that she don't do that much during the days.
Anyhow, instead of ranting of her faults, I should clean up in front of my own door. I will start tomorrow by not "gaming" more than 45min if I wake up in time, if I wake up late, I will go straight to breakfast and game while eating, then continue with homework. Once essay is done I WILL clean my room so I can it in my office chair.
I have to be harder on myself, and not let mom command me too much. I always get mad cause she is commanding me around, planning my days, my time. Instead of ranting and getting mad at her, I should start doing the things I need to do on my own, in my way, and not wait just to see if she is gonna nag on me about it or not.
Like when I left my ex, I need to get back to that stage. To command my own time, now more than ever to get my homework done and lose some serious weight. Tomorrow is Monday, a new week. I might not have time to go out in the mornings, but there is certainly nothing that says I don't have time to NOT eat as much as I do. Whenever I feel like chewing something I will drink water. Whenever I take a time off in homework I should go on the elliptical. Then when all the homework I have that can be done is done, THEN I can allow myself gaming, or if it's after 8pm.
Time to sleep! :D